Thank the gods it’s over.

I mean the occupation of Zucotti Park, down near Wall Street. Mayor Blumberg, in his wisdom, declared the place the disaster it was–sanitation and safety issues run amok–and he sent a small band of courteous messengers out to discuss the issue with the occupants in the early hours of November 15.

Of course the young miscreants lodged there in the park refused to go. The poor police officers really had their hands full, urging them along with a pat and a wag of the finger. And then the officers were left to pick up all those smelly tents and sleeping bags and sweep that litter of books and cameras and electronic stuff into a big pile for the garbage guys to take away.

Trust me, it well and truly sucks being a New York cop, having to face all that hostility and uproar day after day for two whole months. All that drumming! All those signs! The chanting and “mic checks.” The singing. It was a beat no policeman should be forced to walk.

Various news outlets report that the real reason for the gentle nudge our mayor gave those dirty young people wasn’t just the public health crisis they represented. It was that they were hiding weapons. Very likely Weapons of Mass Destruction. You couldn’t see them but, just like the WMDs in Iraq, they were there. Hidden in the kitchen. Among the books in the library. Wrapped in that roll of paper signs. If our Gentlemen in Blue hadn’t taken the initiative, there’s no telling what horrors might have befallen lower Manhattan.

Because, as we all know, there was rampant violence among these supposedly “peaceful” interlopers. Who could miss how aggressively they smashed their heads into police batons? How they ground their backs into the tender knees of our protectors? How they thrust their wrists in rage at the Boys in Blue? And they were slick, even in the movement’s earliest days: consider the manipulative tears of those women who stubbornly refused to clear the area after the police so kindly warned them of that errant cloud of stray pepper spray.

These people are clearly dangerous, in addition to being infectious, in the public health sense. And they are whiners: I fail to see what their problem is, especially since the mass arrest of all those folks on Wall Street who intentionally caused our housing market, and our economy, to tank.

I mean, really! Citi now uses Americans at the end of their phone mazes. And didn’t I hear just the other day that Bank of America has decided to not charge us for using the debit cards they gave us so we could have access to the money they tend so carefully for us?

What more could those brash young criminals possibly want???

Of course, the problem isn’t completely solved–the mayor, in his magnanimity, will let them go back into the park, as long as they don’t bring anything bigger than a smallish backpack. That’s a mistake, if you ask me: next thing you know, those ingrates will force us to watch them die of hypothermia.


They should get a job and leave the police alone.