I give a whole new meaning to the expression country dumb.  According to UrbanDictionary.com this expression I first heard in the film Ray describes “A person, usually from a rural area, the south or small town; who deliberately speaks or behaves in a manner that indicates a lack of understanding of the modern world, and uses this false impression to take advantage of urban or cosmopolitan people.” But then, what do you call us folks who really are country dumb?

Last week I bitched about the inherent risks of gardening, but I should’ve mentioned that, also like gambling, when your luck is good, even the most stupid mistakes may not have any effect on the resulting rewards.  As an example, late last fall I inserted 75 tulip bulbs upside down, and what do you know, they grew anyway!

One more reminder that dumb mistakes sometimes turn out perfectly.  The kitchen DIY project I mentioned a while back, well I didn’t admit that the lovely new island was a major accident that amazingly didn’t send me to the hospital.  Those cupboards that were turned into the kitchen island used to be attached to the wall, and came crashing down nearly on top of me, breaking an entire set of dishes, and almost giving me a heart attack.

Sometimes it’s nice to think that other folks out here are actually more country dumb than me.  The garden sections of the large box stores are more crammed than ever with new convenience products like pre-soiled and seeded peat pots.  On my last trip to town I watched as several women filled their carts with such useless and costly goods.  In my continued fledgling effort to make frugality my new mantra, I turn up my nose and silently sneer,  “These novices are way dumber than me!” They don’t even know to use old egg cartons and toilet paper rolls, which work wonderfully.  I continued to happily browse the seed section when I spied the pre-packaged potatoes, garlic, and shallots meant for planting, and without a second thought, into my cart they go.  Once home I realized I have been duped but good.  Did you know that the very same potatoes, garlic, and shallots are sold in the produce section for a fraction of the price?  They are exactly the same!  It took a documentary some days later for me to clue in: an Aztec woman was dropping whole potatoes into the ground, so that’s what I did.  Would you believe it, all my root crops are already thriving!  These roots and bulbs practically grow themselves, who knew?  DUH!  As I’ve said before, common sense is very relative.

Last year’s feeble, unprepared, hasty  attempt to raise chickens was among my biggest country dumb moves to date.  I believe those poor chicks lived about two weeks before being gobbled up by a hungry raccoon.  Next week we plan to rectify that dumb move by trying anew. Surely even the biggest country dummies don’t make the same mistakes twice.  But if so, at least you’ll be the first to know!